Prom is meant to be the night of all nights and the night of all dreams.
It’s that one perfect night of the four years of your high school experience where friendships are cemented, lost love is rekindled, and new relationships can blossom.
For many girls, myself included, prom gives us hope for a new beginning, for that cute guy from study hall that’s been flirting with you for weeks to make his move, or for your best guy friend that you’ve been secretly crushing on for years to finally profess his love for you.
And of course, before either of these magical things can happen on prom night, we of course will be asked by him to prom.
But what about when this doesn’t happen. What happens when that cute guy from study hall that’s been flirting with you for weeks doesn’t ask you to prom.
What happens when the person you’ve been secretly in love with and thought you’d made your intentions clear to asks another girl?
What happens when, worst of all, the person you thought felt the same way completely overlooks you, and you spend your prom lonely and watching from afar, mourning the feelings you thought were mutually present and wishing away your own for him while they slap you in the face and make you feel so stupid?
It’s at times like these that your prom fantasy soul-crushingly disappears and you wake up to the reality that it might not be the night of all nights and the night of all dreams.
You have to pretend that everything’s alright and normal as can be when really a little part of you dies on the inside every time you see him with her.
You have to pretend you’re happy for them and for her, especially if the girl he asks is your friend, when really your comments that they are so ‘cute’ together are loosely veiled attempts taken to convince yourself that what you thought you had wasn’t special, he wasn’t into you too, in fact there was nothing there.
You find yourself doing everything in your willpower to convince yourself that every little ‘signal’ you thought you picked up from him was really just you overanalyzing everything like you always do.
You do anything and everything to tell yourself that it was all in your head and that you shouldn’t have expected him to ask you to prom. You try in vain to convince yourself that you didn’t even like him that much anyways.
Not having a situation turn out in your favor is one thing. But having to pretend that you don’t care about the situations in the slightest is, in my experience, one of the harder predicaments that you can find yourself in during high school.
Plainly and simply, it sucks to be in this situation. While your heart is being ripped out on the inside, to keep your composure and pride you pretend that nothings wrong and don’t let on that your prom night has most likely just been rendered unbearable.
And there’s not much you can do about it. To keep your friendship with the guy, and maybe the other girl too, you wouldn’t dare to say anything about him going with her.
You wouldn’t confide to almost anybody about your broken heart for fear he would eventually find out, leaving you both upset and dead of embarrassment.
Perhaps the only comfort you will find for a while will come in the form of a box of chocolate, a good ole’ chick flick, and about twenty tonnes of tissues.
But as hard as it can be to go through, there’s something very important to keep in mind that will help make it easier on you.
It’s natural to think that you did something wrong or that it’s something about you that he doesn’t like and made him pass you over; maybe what you interpreted as ‘flirting’ was simply friendly banter between classmates or perhaps you’re not popular enough or pretty enough or smart enough to go to prom with him.
Those who have been here and been through this will tell you that having this mindset is not conducive to getting over someone, believe me.
Senior year will end and you’ll most likely go your separate ways and that’ll be that.
Chances are you’re never going to understand why it didn’t work out between you two or why he chose her over you. But you know what? It doesn’t matter.
At the end of the day, it didn’t work out. But you can’t and you shouldn’t blame yourself for that.
Him not asking you is in no way a reflection of you as a person. Bet your bottom dollar that he’ll look back one day and regret not asking someone as sweet, kind and beautiful as yourself.
The bottom line is, it’s his loss. If he can’t see what a star you are, then too bad for him.
NEVER feel like you’re not worthy of someone. If he can’t see how great you are, he’s missing out. But you’re certainly not.