For most of us, Prom preparation is a whirlwind of fashion magazines, shopping trips, date hunting for yourself, and date hunting for your best friend– all while trying to answer intimate Prom-related questions that have been weighing on you for the entirety of your high school career!
It’s enough to drive anyone nuts.
When you’re getting ready for the biggest night of your teenage life, everything falls under scrutiny.
You begin to question every detail. Things you thought you had solved when you were 14 are suddenly hot button issues again, and you have no idea what decision to make. And for many of us, this includes underwear.
In recent years, there’s been a ton of people (mostly women) praising the art of going without underwear. You probably even have a friend who swears by the underwear-free lifestyle. Down with the patriarchy! Free yourself from panty imprisonment!
But before you join your friend in running off to Prom with a healthy breeze going on below the waist, stop and consider the risks. Here’s five reasons why not to go commando to prom:
1) You’ll be distracted worrying about a wardrobe malfunction all night.
One of the biggest reasons why you shouldn’t go commando on Prom night (especially for the first time– now is not the time to experiment!) is for the sake of your own sanity.
Waltzing onto the dance floor sans underwear may seem exciting and risque while you’re talking about it with your friends, but when you get there, you are going to freak out.
Going commando is setting yourself up for the constant fear of having your very own Britney Spears moment.
Most of us don’t possess the bravery of a Scotsman in a kilt, and it’s hard to dance when you’ve got your hands cupped in front of you the whole night. Save yourself the stress.
2) Or worse: there WILL be a wardrobe malfunction.
The fear is bad enough, but what if it comes true? We all have nightmares about showing up to class without any pants on, and we wake up from those screaming and red in the face.
That’s bad enough, but if you’re looking for something even more mortifying than a pantsless math class, look no further. Ditching the underwear gets rid of an extra layer of defense against accidentally flashing everyone at Prom.
Do you really want to hear about that at every high school reunion for the rest of your life?
3) One word: chafing.
Let’s be real: early humans didn’t invent underwear just to sit there and look pretty.
Underwear was a practical thing first, and you may find that even the most comfortable outfit causes uncomfortable chafing if you get rid of the most vital piece of protection.
It’s hard to dance when you’re busy trying to prevent your own clothing from itching and scratching.
The last thing you want is diaper rash at Prom! Play it safe and protect yourself against scratchy fabric, rhinestones and inseams.
4) Your risk of horrible, unthinkable injury goes up by at least 300%.
This goes back to the whole “underwear is a shield before all else” thing.
Think about what your clothing consists of. Does it have a zipper? Does it have a zipper anywhere within the general vicinity of your underwear?
Now imagine what would happen if the underwear wasn’t there. Pinching any part of yourself inside a zipper is painful, but some body parts are worse than others.
Save yourself the pain. There are some tears no one should have to shed– especially not while you’re getting dressed to go to Prom.
5) You do not want to get cold.
I know what you’re thinking. The weather is great! You spent the last week and a half running around in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt!
How could you possibly get cold wearing your carefully-selected outfit to Prom?
Chances are you’re going to be in an air-conditioned environment at least part of the time, and schools love to make their students freeze.
Climate control quickly turns into refrigeration when you’re wearing fewer layers, and though your underwear may not seem like much, you will regret forgoing them when you find yourself standing in subzero temperatures.
Would you go commando to prom? Let us know in the comments!